Throwing In The Towel

Busto.

Recent session has taken a toll on me.

When I win pots (double up), it doesn't give me as much pleasure to compensate when I lose an all-in. I been very angry almost every session. Mental game fish you can call it.

After 2 year 2 months in this, I'm throwing in the towel for now.

Have used up my FPP in exchange for some souvenirs lol.

I'm not sure when I'll be back, only know its the firstime I'm saying so.

Been neglecting my trading at Black Bottle Forex. Time to pick up from where I left off. I need to focus, can't afford to spread my attention like peanut butter jam anymore.

Take care people.

Thing About Poker

300+ entrant tourney. Short stacked twice, sucked out 44 vs KK and 55 vs KK and then when I had AA in-the-money already sucked out by TT.

Don't know to feel happy or sad.

Some Sick Runs Today

Not sure if he thinks I was faking a straight or flush at the river thats why he called?

Good Thing About Sets Against Trips

Risky check on the river here, thats the problem with not having position in a hand.

Anyway the abv doesn't summarize my session for the night. Awful beats in the SNG n tourneys. (save the details)

ZOOM Play?

For some reasons, this type of situation happens a lot in ZOOM play. Made a loose-call here though, but the shove was even looser.

Great way to start the day

AA < KT

QQ < 99

A5 flop 55 < 66 on turn

TT < KK

AK < AJ

QQ < 77

some tourney hands above of how I got knocked out.

A5 < 66 set (32 of 408) sign no FT again.

Today I Sucked Out A Lot

A topic not very often happen for me. I mean I do, but today.. a lot. lol. Short entry, just name a few plus a few hands of replay.

No luck with Big 3.30 and 2.20 6-max. Although I caught a J on the river with JT vs A7. Guy goes "donkday" as expected. Here it is about online poker, if you suck out someone online, you have 74.56% statistical percentage of getting a verbal abuse.. based on my own research. I say 'sry' becuz I don't deserve it (but who cares), and he said 'np'. Nice german guy.

Went ZOOM, and was up about 2.5 buy-ins, when two hands put me back to where I began. Later I sucked out against two cowboys which put me back up to about 3.5 buy-ins and thats where I left.

Reason why you have to make a big pre-flop bet SOME TIMES is because you want to chase out lower pairs like mine from hitting a set. That wasn't a very +ev call from me I supposed but I'm not sure why I called anyway.

Another sickest hand of the decade. Suddenly I can't import hands from handsreplay website so I extracted this from my PokerTracker.


PokerStars - $0.10 NL ZOOM - Holdem - 9 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 3: http://www.pokertracker.com

BTN: $10.84
SB: $10.85
Hero (BB): $20.35
UTG: $10.62
UTG+1: $8.04
MP: $8.14
MP+1: $15.39
LP: $9.70
CO: $10.00

SB posts SB $0.05, Hero posts BB $0.10

Pre Flop: ($0.15) Hero has 3h 3c

fold, fold, MP raises to $0.30, fold, fold, fold, BTN raises to $0.80, fold, Hero calls $0.70, MP calls $0.50

Flop: ($2.45, 3 players) Kc As 3s
Hero checks, MP checks, BTN bets $1.20, Hero calls $1.20, MP raises to $2.60, BTN calls $1.40, Hero raises to $10.20, fold, BTN calls $7.44 and is all-in

Turn: ($25.13, 2 players) 4c

River: ($25.13, 2 players) 3d

Hero shows 3h 3c (Four of a Kind, Threes) (Pre 19%, Flop 4%, Turn 2%)
BTN mucks Kh Ks (Full House, Kings full of Threes) (Pre 81%, Flop 96%, Turn 98%)
Hero wins $24.00

I WON A FUCKING ONE OUTER.

Love & Hate Poker

I love poker.

I hate poker.

I love poker.

I hate poker. 

I love poker (when I win).

I hate poker (bad beats, cooler etc).

Been like this for a very long time. I started this game because I love the psychological challenge of the game. I am not naturally good at it, I know people who are - my friend. Besides being psychologically competitive, he is also good at maths. He challenged me on chess every time we met when I taught him the game. He went on to represent our high school and won countless medals.

He played magic cards, I don't know the game. And went on the bridge, and then to poker. He doesn't read a single book. I asked his starting days of poker. Deposit ten dollar. Busted. Bought another ten from friend, and never made another deposit ever since. 

I am not sure where I am going, probably viewing poker in a different perspective. Of someone like me, with a pipe-dream, looking across to winning players on the other side of the coast. I read about poker blogs, tweets and news every day and there are regulars who just win every single month, basically always an uptrend. Though there are swings but they don't last, and continue going up.

As for me, after two long years, I have seen vast improvements and reading the game with much much more perspective than the past. Work on my game, view hand history, bought (tons of) books to focus on certain games, no external coaching.

I am seeing myself beginning to change from a consistent loser into a break-even player. I see myself having gradual improvements when I take things one at a time. A table at a time, a hand for a hand. Disaster struck whenever I tries to multi-table or trying to grind the shit-ass vpp points, because stars really got wonder vip store.

Every single day when I grind, there is not a day when there is no bad beat. For example, past two days I finish two 9SNG turbo 1st, but today I busted two 9SNG turbo 4th (on the friggin' bubble), both going in with AQ < QJ and AK < A7 respectively. 

I admit injustice tilt affects me a lot. No cards going in preflop has 100% winning rate. But its just me. How do you unsuffocate yourself from these unavoidable encounters. Probably work on my mind, my thinking, my thoughts. Some times it is just killing me.

While playing ZOOM today, I went down, followed by doubling-up. Tilt after 9SNG turbo busto on the bubble and back to where I started. Just as I kept telling myself hateful things about poker as well as checking the "Sit out next big blind" box, I doubled-up that last hand ending the day positive, as if poker heard my whines and tells me to come back next time. Freaky.

I am still unemployed. I am still not making consistent money, and I am worried. I am doing something everyday (job search/grinds) and all I can do is wait. 

"Destiny has arranged your way ahead."

The Fish Rises

I have extremely bad luck records for my 18-SNG (comparing to my 45 SNG and 9 SNG).. always getting busted the first 5.. or bubble (5th). Below is a hand which reinforced my superstitions after stubbornly registering for a 18SNG turbo. First hand of the tourney:

PokerStars settles with United States DoJ - PokerStarsBlog.com

PokerStars settles with United States DoJ - PokerStarsBlog.com