Throwing In The Towel

Busto.

Recent session has taken a toll on me.

When I win pots (double up), it doesn't give me as much pleasure to compensate when I lose an all-in. I been very angry almost every session. Mental game fish you can call it.

After 2 year 2 months in this, I'm throwing in the towel for now.

Have used up my FPP in exchange for some souvenirs lol.

I'm not sure when I'll be back, only know its the firstime I'm saying so.

Been neglecting my trading at Black Bottle Forex. Time to pick up from where I left off. I need to focus, can't afford to spread my attention like peanut butter jam anymore.

Take care people.

Thing About Poker

300+ entrant tourney. Short stacked twice, sucked out 44 vs KK and 55 vs KK and then when I had AA in-the-money already sucked out by TT.

Don't know to feel happy or sad.

Some Sick Runs Today

Not sure if he thinks I was faking a straight or flush at the river thats why he called?

Good Thing About Sets Against Trips

Risky check on the river here, thats the problem with not having position in a hand.

Anyway the abv doesn't summarize my session for the night. Awful beats in the SNG n tourneys. (save the details)

ZOOM Play?

For some reasons, this type of situation happens a lot in ZOOM play. Made a loose-call here though, but the shove was even looser.

Great way to start the day

AA < KT

QQ < 99

A5 flop 55 < 66 on turn

TT < KK

AK < AJ

QQ < 77

some tourney hands above of how I got knocked out.

A5 < 66 set (32 of 408) sign no FT again.

Today I Sucked Out A Lot

A topic not very often happen for me. I mean I do, but today.. a lot. lol. Short entry, just name a few plus a few hands of replay.

No luck with Big 3.30 and 2.20 6-max. Although I caught a J on the river with JT vs A7. Guy goes "donkday" as expected. Here it is about online poker, if you suck out someone online, you have 74.56% statistical percentage of getting a verbal abuse.. based on my own research. I say 'sry' becuz I don't deserve it (but who cares), and he said 'np'. Nice german guy.

Went ZOOM, and was up about 2.5 buy-ins, when two hands put me back to where I began. Later I sucked out against two cowboys which put me back up to about 3.5 buy-ins and thats where I left.

Reason why you have to make a big pre-flop bet SOME TIMES is because you want to chase out lower pairs like mine from hitting a set. That wasn't a very +ev call from me I supposed but I'm not sure why I called anyway.

Another sickest hand of the decade. Suddenly I can't import hands from handsreplay website so I extracted this from my PokerTracker.


PokerStars - $0.10 NL ZOOM - Holdem - 9 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 3: http://www.pokertracker.com

BTN: $10.84
SB: $10.85
Hero (BB): $20.35
UTG: $10.62
UTG+1: $8.04
MP: $8.14
MP+1: $15.39
LP: $9.70
CO: $10.00

SB posts SB $0.05, Hero posts BB $0.10

Pre Flop: ($0.15) Hero has 3h 3c

fold, fold, MP raises to $0.30, fold, fold, fold, BTN raises to $0.80, fold, Hero calls $0.70, MP calls $0.50

Flop: ($2.45, 3 players) Kc As 3s
Hero checks, MP checks, BTN bets $1.20, Hero calls $1.20, MP raises to $2.60, BTN calls $1.40, Hero raises to $10.20, fold, BTN calls $7.44 and is all-in

Turn: ($25.13, 2 players) 4c

River: ($25.13, 2 players) 3d

Hero shows 3h 3c (Four of a Kind, Threes) (Pre 19%, Flop 4%, Turn 2%)
BTN mucks Kh Ks (Full House, Kings full of Threes) (Pre 81%, Flop 96%, Turn 98%)
Hero wins $24.00

I WON A FUCKING ONE OUTER.

Love & Hate Poker

I love poker.

I hate poker.

I love poker.

I hate poker. 

I love poker (when I win).

I hate poker (bad beats, cooler etc).

Been like this for a very long time. I started this game because I love the psychological challenge of the game. I am not naturally good at it, I know people who are - my friend. Besides being psychologically competitive, he is also good at maths. He challenged me on chess every time we met when I taught him the game. He went on to represent our high school and won countless medals.

He played magic cards, I don't know the game. And went on the bridge, and then to poker. He doesn't read a single book. I asked his starting days of poker. Deposit ten dollar. Busted. Bought another ten from friend, and never made another deposit ever since. 

I am not sure where I am going, probably viewing poker in a different perspective. Of someone like me, with a pipe-dream, looking across to winning players on the other side of the coast. I read about poker blogs, tweets and news every day and there are regulars who just win every single month, basically always an uptrend. Though there are swings but they don't last, and continue going up.

As for me, after two long years, I have seen vast improvements and reading the game with much much more perspective than the past. Work on my game, view hand history, bought (tons of) books to focus on certain games, no external coaching.

I am seeing myself beginning to change from a consistent loser into a break-even player. I see myself having gradual improvements when I take things one at a time. A table at a time, a hand for a hand. Disaster struck whenever I tries to multi-table or trying to grind the shit-ass vpp points, because stars really got wonder vip store.

Every single day when I grind, there is not a day when there is no bad beat. For example, past two days I finish two 9SNG turbo 1st, but today I busted two 9SNG turbo 4th (on the friggin' bubble), both going in with AQ < QJ and AK < A7 respectively. 

I admit injustice tilt affects me a lot. No cards going in preflop has 100% winning rate. But its just me. How do you unsuffocate yourself from these unavoidable encounters. Probably work on my mind, my thinking, my thoughts. Some times it is just killing me.

While playing ZOOM today, I went down, followed by doubling-up. Tilt after 9SNG turbo busto on the bubble and back to where I started. Just as I kept telling myself hateful things about poker as well as checking the "Sit out next big blind" box, I doubled-up that last hand ending the day positive, as if poker heard my whines and tells me to come back next time. Freaky.

I am still unemployed. I am still not making consistent money, and I am worried. I am doing something everyday (job search/grinds) and all I can do is wait. 

"Destiny has arranged your way ahead."

The Fish Rises

I have extremely bad luck records for my 18-SNG (comparing to my 45 SNG and 9 SNG).. always getting busted the first 5.. or bubble (5th). Below is a hand which reinforced my superstitions after stubbornly registering for a 18SNG turbo. First hand of the tourney:

PokerStars settles with United States DoJ - PokerStarsBlog.com

PokerStars settles with United States DoJ - PokerStarsBlog.com

Min-Cash Big $3.30

2 tourneys and one SNG today.

Joined the Big $3.30 minutes before registration closes. Maintained throughout and was following average chip closely. In fact, I was busted when I had around the average chip, but what a waste. I was UTG with AK, raised, MP 3-bet me almost all my stack in such a speed I think he is ready to get it in anytime. All folded back to me, I pondered as I was thinking whether if I got busted I would cashed because it was around 5 more entrants to be in the bubble, or I should coast.

I shoved and he snap-called with JJ... and held.

Another $4.40 tourney. Raised with KhQh, called by AsTs. Flopped King high with two spades, he raised and shoved and he called and hit a spade on the river.

9-men SNG Turbo, was down to 4 men chiplead, when suddenly I found myself heads-up with opponent twice my chip, hmm. Called his raise with Q4, hit bottom pair but two spade on board. Check-raised him all-in he called turning over Kx for a flush draw, but hit his K on the river.

That is all todayyyyy.

Sit & Gossss Knockout!

Grinded 5 SNG today and barely had luck, only won 1 9-SNG Turbo Knockout, happy to be knocking out 6 out of 8 opponents, basically the only game where luck was on my side. I had the other game 6-SNG turbo where we were left to 3. Guy was shortest stack but won a river against chip lead, and then when I was SB against his BB I tried my luck to steal but ran 69 into A2 and he's held, sucks.

Sticking my rules to SNG, for now. Hoping to grind more and consistent this month (reducing Diablo time) although will not be aiming for SilverStar.

Lacking Updates

Been a full month, ever since Diablo took our soulstones. I have the lowest volume during June since the start of 2012 and had even lost my silver star vip. I had some awful bleeding in cash games mid month and decided to really stick to my plan to play SNG/tourneys with what is left for me after I withdrew majority of my bankroll out.

I want to take the left over amount seriously and play about 2-3 tables at a time and learn to know what I am doing instead of multi-tabling for volumes and going auto-pilot. Not that it is not good, but I am not that good at it yet. Seems that I still have to take things slowly, and seriously.

Had a good few SNGs, today won a turbo knockout first, knocking out 4 others. Lost two other MTTs and that was it for the day.

There's a Micro Million 2 on PokerStars coming up next week and I'm looking forward to it. Keep my results posted.

So True

Brutal Day

I can't count the number of times people say "sry" to me after a sick beat today. Sick sick sick..

I just tired of it.. twice I had top 2 and got ran over by sets.

Had aces, guy called my all-in me with treys thinking I was stealing (he later explained) and then he hit triple trey at river.

Flop 2 full of 6. Guy called my all-in with 44 and hit 4 in the river.

I had a deep run in a micro NLHE tourney 171 entrants was about 14th, called raised from SB with A6. Flop came A6xh. He called my all-in with AQhh and turn h river h. Another near-missed final table FFS!

Hear enough? My sickest beat was board 789TJ. I had Q. Raised him on river, he re-raised me all-in, I called and mucked in shocked when he turn over KQ.

Above were not all only those I remembered sickly, rant rant rant. Fucking day at the interview and tables.

Cash games was up about 2 buy-ins during 700+ hands, and was down so much after I reach 800+ and stopped when my tourney got knocked out.

As much as I love this game, sometimes I just wish to say..

FUCK POKER.

Aces Cracked & Deep Ran Tourney

Quite happy with my recent results in SNGs. There is finally some uptrend in my equity for tournaments. As for cash games, it is still break even. Reason I been cash gaming side by side tourneys is because of the VPP I need to meet. I am still 300vpp away from SilverStar status for the month.

I been pretty lucky with 45-men and 18-men SNG turbo currently having a very decent ROI. In the 45 SNG my closest though was only 3rd, for twice. But good enough to give me good ROI for 7 games. As for 18-men, 7 games, I had once first, twice in the runner-up and once in the 3rd.

Will be going for an interview on Thursday, I hope that I will land on the job and when I do, I can continue to slowly build my bankroll here playing tourneys probably.. if time permits.

Below is one of the hands extracted from my cash games. I think I over-did it, but if he had it, I would've been doomed. But based on my preflop play, I assumed he thought that I had aces or ace-king. I couldn't put myself to check on the turn I don't noe why, but instead to represent it (wasn't on tilt). I think he probably had kings or queens. A relief he folded.



Below is one of my super weak play. I think I was too overwhelmed multi-tabling till I only min-raised preflop with aces. Bring a cock handed guy into the flop and letting him hit doubs. I wouldn't have fold it till the river, but it would probably have cost less. Didn't tilt after that hand because it was absolutely mistake play. I am more prone to injustice tilt, or entitlement tilt.



I seemed to have aces cracked almost every session sigh. But above was a very bad play which should have been avoided. Things like AA getting cracked by kings or 4 pairs would've tilted me hard (injustice tilt).

Anyway I play two 1.5k and 1k guaranteed tourneys in stars this afternoon and cashing both. Min-cashed one of them and the other one I made it to 14th out of 770 entrants.. my deepest run.

I was so hoping to get into my first ever regular tourney final table but I flung it. My chips was about 10th or 11th placing, all folded to me on the button, I shove-steal with JQo, big blind snap called me with aces.

An ass move I supposed. But I see myself with a little gradual improvements.

Morale fell as I closed my cash games and back to Diablo 3. 

On to the next one. 

River Day

Started the day with a beat, 3 betting BB at the SB, and I knew he had kings the way he tried to set me up with 4 bet. I pushed with aces and he snap called. I had an ace of diamond, the flop came Kxx ddd. I can't seem to avoid the fate of getting sucked out by 2-3 outer every single session. Unfortunately, no diamond came any more. He shipped my whole stack when I was barely 5 hands fresh at the table.

Oh no I didn't smashed my mouse, I'd been telling myself its part of poker since I experience it EVERY session. Anyway, at that particular table I continued to get sucked out in between the next 50 hands and I just found myself down about 2 full buy-ins.

God always reward patience as I did not tilt and spew my stack, my vengeance are always rewarded when I keep my patience and play my usual after a beat. Against the same opponent who cracked my aces with cowboys, I later rivered him AJhh against his JJ with a flush, which I think it tilted him because he'd 3-bet me for the next few hands.

I net my cash game positive later when I won a super cooler on a river. Gotta love the river today.



Thats the one thing I scared about slow playing your nuts, I meant your nut holdings.. not your below.

I four-tabled with two other sit & gos. Got knocked out easily in the big $3.30 and 9-sng. Later cashed out runner-up followed by winning the 6-max sng. I held onto the 45-sng and cashed out 3rd, one of my best. I felt like I was playing in the zone these few days. But 4 table is currently the max for me. Not intending to add anymore tables though, am very comfortable with my recent play.

Been just focusing on the turbos for my recent sngs. Reason being time constraint, as well as getting into more flips. I know generally people say that regular speed are the ones for the skillful? Becuz of the slow blinds rendering people to play more post-flops. As for turbo, before you're in for another orbit, you've found yourself short stacked and ready to gamble. Thats why I consider myself lucky in current month's sngs - firstime positive for tourneys.

Great to end my birthday on the green side.

Good luck at the tables!

Worst Fold

I always wondered if I'll encounter such a hand, and I did today. He re-raised me almost the whole of his stack at the river but he simply folded when I wanted that 60cent more of his stack.

Power of Position - When All Elements Fit

 I think he put me on a flush draw or weak queen, and think I was pulling an all-in bluff on the river. Usually wouldn't pay-off that much when first to act post-flop.

April Review (-ve)

Surprising after huge losses I still have some equity left.. I guess it is due to the bonuses I have received this month. Apart from the April 1st Special, where I used my FPP to redeem $80, I also hit my 5th stellar for $50.. but were all in the drain lol. 

There's a slight improvement with my tourneys/sng but serious downfall for my cash games. I think it is due to zoom poker + tilt. I told myself beside playing cash game for VPP (to maintain my silverstar status), I should refrain from it. But sometimes you only got time to sit for awhile and you want to play a lot of hands in a short time you turn to zoom poker. My normal tabling cash games are still up a little, when I don't multi-table that much. 

Should stay away from zoom poker at all cost. Stay away from cash games on tilt.

As for tourneys, it isn't all the way down like it used to.. but ranging profit and loss. Had my deepest run in a $2.20 NLHE tourney getting 17th out of 650+ entrants. I was hoping for my first ever final table in a tourney but too bad. 

I'm getting the hang of 9-SNG and playing a slower pace at maximum two tables. Will continue this pace until my equity is good enough to up stakes.

I grind just nice of slightly more than 750 vpp for the month just to maintain that silverstar. 

And I'm still waiting for that Silver Money Clip in the VIP store on PokerStars.